It takes a lot to offend me.  As a matter of fact, I’m not sure what my limit is; because I cannot remember ever feeling offended.

With my study in Social Dynamics, I watch people.  Specifically, I watch how they communicate and interact with one another.  What better place to watch than social networks.  Social networks are a quick and dirty Petri dish.

With my social networks, I view my accounts as my thoughts.  In other words, it’s my page.  If you post something on my page that I don’t like or want on the page, then I click the little “x”, and it’s gone.  If you make a comment to something that I have posted or uploaded that I don’t like, it’s the “x” for that comment.

Now, if you post 3 or more things that I don’t like or want on my page, then I give the big “X” to those people… they are Unfriended, Unfollowed, Uncircled, or Blocked.  If you don’t like it, too bad… it’s my account.

With this view on what a social network should be, I receive very little negative comments on my pages… very little.  This could be due to the fact that I have a great group of people who I let in (and I do have a great group), or it could be because people know they’re getting booted if they post something I don’t like 3 or more times.

What I find so many people forget who are on social networks is the phrase…

Mind your own business.

With the explosion of social networks, it seems that minding your own business has been thrown out the window.

We’re all sharing much more with not just our family and friends; but we’re sharing thoughts and moments with the world at large… many times private thoughts and moments.

I’ve seen posts about intimate moments with your significant other, photos that shock some viewers when they run across them, statements that upset family and friends, and much worse.  You have too… especially, if you’ve taken a moment to read my blogs, updates, and social pages.

Well, that’s me!  My public figure is built around being a bit edgy… edgy, unique, shocking, yet eyeopening and thought provoking.  I want the people who view what I write to be forced to expand their comfort level, to become more tolerant, to push themselves away from their screen with new ways of thinking, and even learn something whether they wanted to or not.

Now, depending on what you do, the company you work for, the audience you draw, etc…; I do recommend being smart.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it many more times… stupid people are my biggest pet peeve.  So, if you’re looking to advance your career while you post photos of your drunken binge at a string of strip clubs this past weekend to your Facebook Wall that is open to the public to view, then you’re S-T-U-P-I-D; and I automatically hate you.  (Rule #1: I hate stupid people.)

Spend some time tweaking your privacy settings on all of your social networks, and you’ll be fine.  Besides, why would you want any pervert sitting in a public library on the Internet looking at photos of you and learning the places you frequent.  Be smart!

With that said, there’s this little thing called the First Amendment that protects our freedom of speech and expression here in the U.S.A..  It’s my right to post a photo that someone snapped of me sitting on the toilet on my Facebook Wall.  The photo is of me, it shows nothing graphic, and it’s shocking and funny.  Like I said, I like to expand the comfort level of my readers.

My Facebook Wall, however, is not open to the public.  Just like my many other social networks, my content is open to the people I allow into my world and who agree to come in.

Here’s where the stupid people begin to come out to play.  If I blog about something you don’t agree with, if I upload a photo that offends you, if I Tweet a 140 character gem that gets your panties in a bunch; I have found that social networks become like alcohol… they give people a false sense of confidence.  Every day, comments are made on posts of others verbally chastising the expression of another.

How do you know if you are one of these stupid people?

1. Would you say to the person the things that you post on social networks, write in e-mails, or message if they were standing in front of you?
2. If your answer to #1 is “No”, then you’re a stupid person.
3. If your answer to #1 is “Yes” and you have very few friends in the real world, then you’re a stupid person.

You see, what makes a person stupid in my eyes is someone who is closed off to allowing others to express themselves, says no to allowing themselves to have new experiences, believes that their moral compass is always pointing the right way, and believes that everyone should hold the same beliefs as they hold.

In other words, mind your own business is great advice for all of us.  That means experiencing new things, opening your mind to new beliefs, accepting people for who they are, growing, and never being satisfied as just one of the pack.  Be you!  Be unique!  Mind your own business by experiencing life to it’s fullest instead of worrying about what other people are doing.

And for those Sheeple who still want to throw out the First Amendment and  berate others, here is an option… Unfriend, Unfollow, or Uncircle the people who offend you.  You will never have to see another thing written or uploaded by them ever again.  This will give you more time to burn some books at the library.

I polled 382 women in regards to their desire to be kissed on the first date.

7 out of 10 women want to be kissed on the first date.

Specifically, these 382 women could choose one of the following options to the question “Do you like to be kissed on the first date?”…

• Very Much
• Somewhat
• Marginal
• Not Much
• Not At All

I recently had a guy tell me that he was about to go on his 6th date with a woman; and he wanted to know how he should go about kissing her, because he thought it was time.

He thought it was time?!?

I told him to jump in his DeLorean, get it up to 88mph, and travel back in time to the first date!

If you are on your 2nd, 3rd, or 6th date; it may be too late.

Correction… It IS too late.

If you have been reading my columns here or in the real world publications in which they are syndicated, you already know that women are initially attracted to a man who is confident and can make them laugh and feel good.

As your initial meeting and conversation progresses, women begin asking themselves a few questions as they unconsciously (or consciously) begin to qualify you as a potential suitor.  It is your job to give her the right answers.

One of these questions that women ask themselves is… “Is he strong enough to protect me?”  You must answer that question with a confident “Yes!”, and you can answer with a kiss.

Women respect a man who goes for the kiss.  The worst that could happen is that she stops you.  This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want kissed.  It means… “Not right now.  Let’s see if you can handle a challenge.”

Few woman will be offended or upset because you went for the kiss.  If she stops you or turns away, it simply means that you have a bit more work to do.

If you want to kiss her, always go for the kiss; because many times, that window of opportunity will never open again.

NOTE: “No” always means no.  Never force yourself on a woman.  Women are to be respected at all times.

So, what is going on in a woman’s mind when you don’t go for that kiss on the first date?

If you are nervous when you meet her and stay that way throughout the first date, then she will pick up on that.  If you want to hold her hand, and you hesitate… she knows.

As the tension builds… you wanting to break that physical barrier and her getting the feeling that you lack the confidence to do that… she begins thinking…

• This guy doesn’t know how to kiss me.
• He doesn’t understand women.
• He isn’t into me.
• He’s not what I thought.
• I made a mistake.

And you have just ruined your chance at a great relationship.

Here is the secret…

Confidence!

There is no right moment to kiss her.  There is no feeling… except when you feel you want to kiss her.

The reason that the first kiss feels uncomfortable or awkward is because you are making the situation that way.

When you feel nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward; you communicate how you feel to the woman.  She may not even pick up on it consciously; but unconsciously, you have failed to answer her questions correctly…

• You are not confident.
• You are not strong enough to protect her.

Of course, I can tell you to be confident, and just kiss her; but we both know that it starts on the inside.  You must become that strong, confident man that kisses a woman without hesitation.

There are countless ways to become this man ranging from faking it until you make it (which I do not recommend) to hiring someone who can kick your ass into shape (which I do recommend).

For the guy that I told you about at the beginning of this column who was on his 6th date with no kiss, it was too late… at least, with the particular woman he had been going out with.

He was already put into the “friend zone” due to his lack of confidence and lack of ability to take charge of the moment.  However, with a bit of coaching from me, he is developing his inner-game so it never happens again.

Guys, find that confidence deep inside, or find someone who can help you learn to tap into it.  Until you master that crucial element, you will continue to be put in the “friend zone”; and you will continue to lose women who could have been The One.

One final word…

Women WANT to be kissed on the first date!

I know!!!… I asked them!

I had many adventures over the weekend… a few of which are more than noteworthy; but I am not writing about those… at least not now.

What I do want to share are two different mindsets, and the path that you choose will determine the quality of life that you ultimately have.  I received two communications from people over the weekend that stood out among all the others.  One of the communications came from a woman who I feel deeply sorry for… I feel even more concern for the people who have to experience her on a daily basis.  The second communication came from a man who demonstrated class.

Let’s begin with the woman who I sincerely pity.

Being “right” has never felt as good as being naked in bed with a woman.

In addition to stealing time away from her family, this woman has carried this anger with her for seven years!  Seven years this anger has been haunting her, and it wasn’t even her divorce.

Here are 5 types of liquid courage that will prepare you for a date, without sabatoging your chances.

Click the link below…

http://goo.gl/FbGYt

I talk a lot about dating here, because… well… that’s what I do.

How about marriage?

Marriage is hard, but it is worth the effort.  Here is a column on the myths and misconceptions of marriage.  Enjoy…

http://blog.koldcast.tv/2011/koldcast-news/marriage-myths-and-misconceptions/

Hey Men (and Women),

Here is probably more than you want to know about The Big O.

Simply, click on the link below…

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/09/female-orgasm/

New research shows that guys fall in love faster and more often than women.

After just one date, most men say they know whether they are in love, and the rest are likely to know within three dates.

Almost 25% said they believed in love at first sight, and they knew whether a girl was “the one” within seconds.

Women, on the other hand, are more indecisive on the issue, consulting with friends and family and waiting at least a month before making their minds up.

Read more on the research findings here… http://goo.gl/S4HOY

This is a paragraph from an e-mail I received today from a young woman…

“So many women are focused on self-improvement hoping that a man might notice them. In reality many (not all) women are doing the right things, but they think they need to “make things happen”. No, women shouldn’t have to work to make anything happen. The man should be the hunter; the woman should be on the receiving end. This is the false concept that society has adopted. Yes, there are some cases where women need to improve. Maybe they have annoying habits, maybe they are obnoxious, maybe they have grooming issues, maybe they are boring. But all in all, you cannot have seminars geared toward a general populus because someone is going to adhere to the falsehood that maybe there’s something wrong with ME when really they are fine and it’s the MAN who needs worked on.”

My response here is not directed specifically at woman.  Men, you are guilty of the same thing.

In reality… If this is your view of the world, then you most likely are not “doing the right things”; because you absolutely do need to “make things happen”.

Woman, I am all for romance.  Romance, however, does not equal supplication.  In other words, romance books and movies have a common theme… The man comes in and sweeps the woman off her feet.  Usually, there is some type of challenge that the man must overcome to be with the woman.  The man tumbles head over heals to do all he can to “win” the woman.  Most ideas of what romance is comes from the world of fiction.

No man should have to do this.  More importantly, when you seek men who do this; then you are going to get that “man who needs worked on”.  A man who completely loses who he is inside of a relationship is not a mentally healthy man.  Each partner should have their own life and sense of self, and they should have a life together within the relationship as well.  That’s healthy.  When a man supplicates and loses his sense of self within a relationship, it can only last so long.

Now, I am speaking to women; because I am answering the e-mail above.  Men, the same goes for you!  When you seek a woman who loses themselves in you, then you are setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship.

When it comes right down to it, we ALL have at least one thing that needs improvement.  I discover new things on a regular basis that I need to improve upon.  Instead of denying that the problem exists, I “make things happen”.

I know, and you should know, that we must put our best foot forward and be the best person we can be.  If you continually blame the opposite sex for being broke and prove your theory by attracting people who really do have challenges, then you are likely to be single for a long time.

My advice, do whatever you can to improve yourself; be the best person that you can possibly be; and never stop growing.  If you are not growing, then you will always feel that something is missing in your life.

I ran across this 1-page column in the June edition of Wired.

If you have a profile online for dating, then it’s a good read.

http://ping.fm/p/FL4q8